Many issues rise to the surface when a relationship moves from dating to engagement.
How do the two of you make choices?
What are your life goals?
What are your expectations about relationships with one another’s family and values?
How to do you work through disagreements?
All of these are very important questions, which oftentimes get overlooked amidst stressful wedding planning.
Here is a list to give you some ideas of what to be thinking about together:
Emotional intimacy and frequency/type of connection (either the same or different than sex)
Expectations around sex
Relationships with in-laws
Relationships with friends
Career and work-life balance
You can approach this brainstorm as broadly or specifically as you prefer.
Both pull out journals and take 5 minutes on the clock to write down some ideas about your feelings and thoughts in regard to a specific topic. Then share.
The rules? No interruptions, no disagreements or critique. Each of you is just broadly haring from the heart to each other. This is a chance to learn more about the hopes and dreams of your partner.
Both pull out the same journals for 5 minutes on the clock, except this time you are creating a list of action items. Then share your lists side by side and discuss which items are overlapping, which are opposing, and what you can compromise on.
Give it a try. Carve out time for connection amidst the noise and busyness of wedding planning. Turn off your phones, pull out your favorite wine or tea, and start the night of visioning for your future with a kiss or cuddle.
And if this process seems better with a therapist mediating it, you’re in luck! We offer premarital counseling at Oasis. To learn more, click here.